For some reason, I must be running out of creative juice. Again, I'll have to post something I wrote months ago in my journal.
Honestly, I'm posting this partly for selfish reasons. This is just me encouraging myself to wait.
During (or maybe even at the start of) the semester, I wish for vacation to come so I can just bum around the whole day and night. Now that summer is here, again, I'm feeling restless. I'm waiting for so many things. Okay, I need to breathe.
Still, I realize even more now how God knows how I can be. For example, whenever I read a book or watch a movie, I make sure that I go through it from start to end. I hate skipping pages or scenes. I hate spoilers. I want to journey through the story the way the author or the maker meant it so with all its surprises.
Today, the suspense may be killing (Ok, I'm exaggerating.) me. Still, I want to have faith that all this waiting would be worth it. And I believe He will let it be worth it.
"It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings." (Proverbs 25:2)
It's funny. It's when we actually not do anything that we're most stressed or anxious. Think about it. How do you feel when you're waiting for food you've ordered at a restaurant? Or when you're stuck in a traffic jam? Or when you want to know how you did on a killer exam?
I guess these are just warm ups to real waiting. Little stretches to keep our hearts pumping. Micro mini drills to prepare us for the real exercise.
Man, God's so clever.
WHY WAIT?
Over and over, I hear that waiting is a season. For as long as I can remember, I've always hated waiting. I hate waiting in grocery lines. I hate waiting for dinner to be ready. I hate waiting to finally grow up. Waiting takes work. Hard work!
As I come to know more of God and His heart, I am encouraged by the sweet words He utters. I am enthralled by His loving whispers. I am awestruck by the wonders He reveals. And then He goes and says...WAIT.
It takes grace. Ironic as it may sound, waiting means surrendering - giving up. It's giving it all up to God. All our hopes, dreams, visions, and desires placed in one hand.
I take comfort in this hand that created heaven and earth. I take comfort in the hand which belongs to the Holy One. I take comfort in this hand that holds me, guides me and lifts me up. I take comfort, in the hand of God, that out of His great love, picked me.
Sometimes I take pride in myself for having the will to wait on God. I want to glorify God, I think to myself. Still, my heart began to nourish a secret - Waiting was a favor to God. Again, my "good works" syndrome got to me. Again, I was shrouded by the thought of what I can do for God rather than what He is doing for me.
God is a waiting God. All my life I have made God wait for me. It shames me to know that I have done this to such a holy and majestic God. Yet, it also flatters me to have an awesome God wait for me. I feel even more beautiful and loved in knowing that a God as awesome as He sees me as worth waiting for - as a woman worth pursuing.
If there is even a feeling greater than joy, that is how I get as God romances me.As I long to seek His heart,I find that it is He who has a heart that yearns for me. (Jer 31:20)
I will wait because He waited. I will be faithful because He has always been faithful.
"BE STILL, AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD." (Psalms 46:10)
